When I was younger, probably 20/21, I had a married cousin who said she couldn’t go to her father’s house when she’s pregnant because of “kunya“; that’s the Hausa word for shame. I remember thinking then that it was a silly thing to do because obviously your parents know you’re married and having the segz, so you being pregnant should be the next course of action, no surprises there. Boy was I naive!!!
Hi, my name is Bondi and I have a confession. I’m a grown 30 something married woman who is legally, socially and spiritually permitted to have sex HALLELUJAH!!!. But tell me why when I see someone, especially women I know personally, who are pregnant, I think to myself “so you’re having sex?“. I get even more judgmental in my head when I know you’ve had a child before and you’re pregnant again, it’s like “wow you’re still having sex???“. It doesn’t even matter if they are married, I’m still thinking that way.
I decided to share these unhinged thoughts on my insta story and boy oh boy did I open a can of worms. First of all, I am happy to report that I am very normal because apparently a lot of people feel this way when they see pregnant women. A friend went as far as dragging my church sisters into this. Let me tell you that my thoughts towards them are even more judgmental. I be wondering what nasty position did the deed. And them spirikoko with multiple children like our parents?????? I AM JUDGING YOU!!!!!! So you enjoyed it so much that you kept going back for more?? Wow, oh wow. Don’t even get me started on our grand mothers who were birthing children in double digits, 11, 14, 20!!! Ma’am *
Are these the thoughts of a sane person? I mean we are grown and married in some cases so why this? Is this the result of a broken purity culture or are we just some immature adults who still giggle at the words “penis” and “boobies? I don’t know the answer but I’m off to do some more judging because there’s been a lot of pregnancies around me of late. There better not be anything in the water or air.