At 10, I wanted to be a talk show host like Tyra Banks or Oprah
At 12, I wanted to be a model
At 15, I wanted to be an ambassador
God only knows what I wanted to be when I was younger; a teacher? A policewoman?
On my career list has been lawyer, psychiatrist, banker, criminologist, writer and probably unicorn
At 16, having graduated high school, I no longer knew what I wanted to do with my life. Being the last born and still coming up clueless, a decision was made for me based on my strengths and interest at the time and so my educational background leaned towards social sciences and humanities.
You would think that from foundation to undergraduate to postgraduate, I would eventually stumble into clarity on what I wanted to do in the future but my career path eluded me. All I knew was, I wanted to be successful career woman with relevance in whatever she found herself doing. When I came across a Diane von Furstenberg’s quote, it resonated so deeply with me
“I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be.”
Imagine such an identity crisis so young, well you’ve probably lived through it or are currently living through it. Of course it didn’t help that I had much older siblings who seemed to have their lives figured out but now that I’ve reached the age that they were in when I felt that way, I’m tempted to believe they were faking it. Or maybe I’m just consoling myself. It also didn’t help that I had a number of ambitious friends who seemed to know what they wanted to do/where they were headed (once, my friend Aisha made a playlist to console me and till today whenever I listen to Daydream by Tori Kelly, I thank God for her). While I admired their clarity of purpose, a part of me always felt a little lost and jealous. How I wish I could say that I wanted to be a doctor at the age of 9 and stuck with it, or an accountant or a butterfly. Just know and then manifest it.
Anyways as I grew older, I found myself in the right seasons as the right times with my career. Of course, it never felt that way when I was going through the season but tonight as I reflect, I see that I was always in the right season for me. It’s also how I felt when I started my career journal in 2021 and even now when I read some of my entries, I’m humbled that God put me on the path that He has.
This week, I’m in Vietnam on an IFC sponsored knowledge exchange program with delegates from other African central banks. I’ve sat on tables and rubbed shoulders with the Deputy Governor of the Vietnamese central bank as well as a Vice Governor from the Ethiopian central bank, who happens to be a delegate with me on this trip. I’m in Southeast Asia, it’s been a dream to visit Asia, specifically Singapore and Thailand, which was a part of my 2020 travel plans before the pandemic struck. I’m in a fancy hotel that I didn’t pay for. I’m making valid contributions as a representative of the monetary authority of my country and people are listening. Another day, I would probably talk about how shocked I am at myself that I’ve spoken up in every meeting I’ve gone to, which is 5 in 2 days and counting.
As I soaked in a bath this evening and reflected, I was reminded that this season right here was once a prayer request and a burden; knowing I wanted to be a successful career woman but never really knowing what I wanted to do. I was reminded of the frustrations I felt when it seemed like everyone had it figured out but me. The period between NYSC and getting my first job. Being so sad and overworked at the management consulting firm I worked in because I couldn’t connect to what I was doing. I remembered those seasons.
I remembered how I once prayed for relevance and a seat at the table, but didn’t even know what table I wanted to be sat at. All I knew was that wherever I was planted, I wanted to bloom. With age and maturity, it became easier to not compare my journey with others. I even came up with my own original quote, which I once blogged about
“Flowers planted at the same time don’t always bloom together” (I should probably patent this. If you have the fear of God in you, don’t steal this quote and reference me when you use it!)
It’s so easy to not realize when one is in a season they prayed for. But tonight, I did and I urge you too, dear reader, not to miss when you’re in a blessing that was once a prayer request. Don’t miss it because God hears even the faintest whispered prayers and in due season, He makes things happen. I’m walking through doors that I didn’t open or even construct but I’m walking through them and taking a seat at the table because God’s hand is on me and He’s guiding me. And I hope that in the future, when bigger prayers are answered, I wouldn’t miss it too.