To say my heart has been heavy the past few days would be an understatement. Every time I’ve come online, there’s been one bad news after another; from America literally burning to the Nigerian Police Force killing an unarmed young girl to another young woman being raped in a church. Not that there is an appropriate place for rape, but in the house of God? Come on now.
Yesterday was the worst for me, it felt like a wet blanket had been dropped on me and made me felt so heavy. Reading through some tweets as people expressed their anger and dismay at events, I couldn’t help but cry. I thought it would make me feel better but it didn’t. What lifted my spirits instead was the Verzuz competition between Kirk Franklin and Fred Hammond, which couldn’t have come at a better time. There was dancing, flashbacks, tears and prayers. Truly, worship heals. And so after a full blown 3 hours and an extra hour of private worship, I went to bed with what the bible terms as “peace that surpasses all understanding”.
This is not the peace that comes from knowing everything is going to miraculously fix itself. It’s a peace that comes with knowing God and knowing you can hang on to Him in spite of everything. And I think that is what is going to get a lot of us through our current realities; believing in a higher power than this messed up world has to offer. So I’m truly grateful that this was how I crossed into June, letting gospel songs lift the burden that had been weighing me down.
This June, I’m determined to shape my world rather than allow events shape me. I’m choosing to be selectively online on social media because there is only so much bad news I can take. In my quiet time, I’ll do my part, I’ll sign petitions where I can and in whatever way I can act, I’ll be sure to. But I’m going to protect my mental space and take a break from Twitter most especially. I recently agreed to do a 50km running challenge in June and inspired people to close their rings (Apple Watch) everyday this month. So I’ll do that and continue to range my workouts from running to yoga. I’ve just signed up for a short course on wine tasting because I love wine and I’m growing my knowledge on it. New Daughters of Africa by Margaret Busby is waiting for me to read. And my daily deliverables at work also lie ahead of me. I will continue to call loved ones and pray for them with or without the contact jar reminder. I will have my #MaskMonday facials and drink a lot of wine to calm my nerves. When the energy surges through my body, I will have my one man concert, which some of you have been privileged to experience on my instastory. I will continue to “shop online” and put things in my basket and then close the tabs, because where am I wearing them to? Maybe some day I’ll checkout if I feel it would make me happy. And days when I feel like I really need a laugh, I’ll be a couch potato and have a FRIENDS marathon.
All I’m saying is, be kind to yourself and take care of your mental health. We’re dealing with a pandemic and the wickedness of man’s heart at the same time. There’s a lot going on that could bring even the strongest person down. So while you have the noble dream of saving the world, be sure that you’re not in need of saving first.
