One fine evening while watching a video on pairing the right glasses for wine (I know, I can be bougie) my phone pinged with a message on Whatsapp. My friend typed a mini rant about trying to get over a man and still finding herself going back to him. She said
“Worst is I am doing so well in this self knowledge and unravelling path so this happens and I am confused at myself, am I that powerless and confused?”
“I know this person isn’t what I want or need or that he even treats me as I treat myself, I feel like I am begging to be seen”
And her words hit home because it took me back to when I struggled to move on from Femi. I told her what was my truth and what I wish someone had said to me then. I said to her
“Be easy on yourself. I kept going back to my situationship even while I was healing and reading ‘One Day My Soul Just Opened Up’. So I totally get your falling back. You’re already doing the most important thing; attempting to move on. Your moving on may not look like another person’s or one of those quotes on Instagram that says you cut the person off completely. Your moving on may be gradual and in phases. One day you’re going to wake up and the truth would finally sink in and they would no longer appeal to you. Keep reminding yourself of the truth, that you deserve better. Have candid honest conversations with yourself even when you’re still going back. Maybe there’s something you need to deal with. Keep asking the Holy Spirit to help you too. One thing is for sure, if God is involved, you can’t fail”
When I said those words to her, I said them to an alternate younger me. I wish someone had told me that I was allowed to move on at a pace that worked for my heart. While I love my friends and know they had my best intentions at heart and trust me, this caused strife between one of my best friends and me, I would have appreciated the room to fail too. We see all these quotes on social media and even hear people tell you how you need to walk away from things that no longer serve you and shut the door completely. Let’s be honest, how easy is it to walk away completely and cut someone off cold turkey?
We need to let more people know that situations differ and just like you find what works for you in every aspect of life, you can apply it to moving on/closure. I read those quotes and still went back to him. I did a 40-day spiritual cleansing with One Day My Soul Just Opened Up and still went back to him occasionally. I prayed about it and I still went back to him. It got to a point where I stopped talking to people about it because it was met with frustration from their end but I wish someone had said to me that it was okay and moving on happens differently for others. Like I said to my friend, one day I woke up and the truth just finally sank in. I guess you could say that one day my soul just opened up literally.
