It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve come here and shared any life update. I have friends who have followed my writing harass me to update and sometimes I want to tell them I have no more words left in me *insert Lisa Simpson crying meme* because that’s honestly how I feel.
Between official memos, talking points, speeches and reports, my creative reserve feels depleted so I take solace instead in the written words of others- burning through books faster than I can remember the plot.
Now you may ask if I don’t want to comment on any social issued but honestly, adulting has stunned me into silence. Is this how the fight is taken from people and the light from their eyes? I find that as a country, we are constantly left to deal with such low-budget problems that don’t even let you process before the next one hits. It truly can be overwhelming and I think therapy should be covered by health insurance for those who have it. We need it.
So I apologise to the three of you who read this blog, even though I hope you’re more than three (hehehe). I apologise that I have not been as constant with writing as I used to be when I started writing in 2010. Honestly, I kind of miss the naivety and simplicity of those times but I don’t know that I would trade some of the lessons I’ve learned over the years to go back to time past.
However, saying goodbye to writing or this blog is not something I’m willing to do. Writing has been such an outlet from when I was a child and kept journals (and maybe that’s something I need to go back to- journaling) that it feels like part of my identity. I’ve always expressed myself better in writing than in spoken words so you can understand the existential crisis I feel with my struggle to write these days. Frankly I can’t even tell you what this post is about but my mind and my fingers seem to be in a world of their own. I’m not mad about it.
The words may not always come when I want them or how I want them but writing has carried me through so many seasons of my life that to abandon it feels unfathomable. If you’ve been checking this corner of the internet from time to time, thank you for not giving up on me. I guess I only came here to say that I’m still here, I may be silent but I’m still becoming and navigating the complexities of adulting expectations- marriage, work, family and all. And hopefully, I’ll be writing till my last breath.
